What is the meaning of life?

What’s the significance of life? Who are we?
Is human life just a dream, from which we never really awake, as some great thinkers claim? Are we submerged by our feelings, by our loves and hates, by our ideas of good, bad, beautiful, awful? Are we incapable of knowing beyond those ideas and feelings?

Listen to Shakespeare and Joseph Conrad:

We are such stuff
As dreams are made on, and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep…
William Shakespeare, The Tempest (Folger Shakespeare Library)

A man that is born falls into a dream like a man who falls into the sea.
Joseph Conrad, Lord Jim (Penguin Classics)

Is the reality we know a reality imposed to us by nature? Is the reality and the meaning of life a creation of men, such as music, or love or colors (science tells us that there isn’t such things as music, harmony or colors in the physic world. Just traveling molecules: «There is not, external to us, hot or cold, but only different velocities of molecules; there aren’t sounds, callings, harmonies, but just variations in the pressure of the air; there aren’t colours, or light, just electro-magnetic waves», said H. Von Foerster.).

Are we – and all living beings – just «survival machines, blindly programmed to preserve the selfish molecules known as genes», as Richard Dawkins states? Are we incapable of knowing beyond the frames imposed to us by nature?

Is there any significance for life in a Universe of billions of stars that ignore us? Is there any significance for life in an Universe whose dimensions and nature overcome our understanding?

Listen to the words of Pascal, in the seventeenth century:

«When I consider the short duration of my life, swallowed up in the eternity that lies before and after it, when I consider the little space I fill and I see, engulfed in the infinite immensity of spaces of which I am ignorant, and which know me not, I rest frightened, and astonished, for there is no reason why I should be here rather than there. Why now rather than then? Who has put me here? By whose order and direction have this place and time have been ascribed to me?»
Pensees (Penguin Classics)

This site is about these themes, and the thoughts they create.

Love and cruelty on our lives
Love gives meaning to our lives – as do friendship, or art or faith in God. These are factors of true happiness, of inner peace, of feelings of harmony, allowing meaning to our existence.

But there is the other side. There is the cruelty of life, the pain, the evil, not to talk of death. They are the hidden tigers, ambushed and ready to attack the imprudent, to use an image present in the Buddhist Scriptures.

Is between these pendulums – the positive, the one that gives happiness and meaning, and the negative – that our lives are lived. And when we meditate about all that, we arrive at a diverse and disagreeing set of thoughts about the meaning and purpose of life.

this quote touches me. Great writer

Many more days to go

I’m so happy having more time with my baby at least now I can somehow spent liitle time with her. It should have been this day that she will go to Dubai but luckily she was stop because she still needs to apply for a passport and she did, but she have to wait for 15 working days so counting, it maybe somewhere end of May. It’s still close but at least I still somehow share things with her.

Just this 15 of May her father and mother where in a fight. It all started when her mother read a text message from a girl in her husband cellphone that state,” Are you a sleep? good night, mwah.” her mother went into a rage. Which is reasonable enough. But at the end the one being bash was her mother. Tiffany and Joy where outside peeking as there mother and father quarreled. Joy keep shouting that let them get inside but the door to there store was shut from the inside. Joy have witness how her father keep pulling her mother and crying. Her elder sister tiffany tried to stop them but her father said he would should them all and shoot himself afterwards, tiffany said if so, then let me be first. Joy text Len there elder sister. But after that later that morning, Joy saw, as if there was no trace of quarrel.

One week to go.

I’m not counting down days until one week comes because I’m in a tournament or something wonderful is going to happen. A week from now my Baby is about to go to Dubai, some they find it lucky, some to be a good news but to me, It’s not just lucky, good news it’s also bad news. The only person I ran to, the only person I can talk to, is about to go to Dubai. Good new because her dream in going abroad is about to happen. The thing she always dream about, Her goal is to help her parents, help her youngest sister Dianne and also me. My feeling for her in going to Dubai is quite mix. I’m happy because her dream will somehow come true, Sad because I’m gonna miss her like crazy. But I think It’s for the best. Although it pains me, but I have to pretend that It’s nothing I always smile I even congrats her for making it to Dubai. But reality remains I wanted to shout and say WWWWhaTTT!!!! So sudden. I guess I just have to make the whole week special. 

200 for a week

I was with my Baby in Talamban, we just watched and played cards with her sister Dianne. As afternoon strike we decided to buy for dinner and so we did walk to the market with her sister and bought ourselves sago it’s kind of a shake ice cream with flavor of your choice, they choosen melon and I have choosed bubble gum flavor. We bought Chicken, chicken soup some rice some juice. As we were having dinner we did some little chat and it somewhat ruined our dinner. A topic was last week Dianne was with her mother in Talamban and her father just gave them 200 pesos for the whole week. I reacted and said you must be kidding I mean at that week my Baby and I were in there store and we have plenty of food to go around we were even having a snack. Then Marie said they will only buy 1 meal and they will share with it. As I think I mean Dianne is pregnant I mean she needs nutrious food and her mother is old and just give them 200 for a week I mean you have to eat 3x a day and if it’s 20 per meal so x 3 so 60 then the next day 120 the next day 180 and it’s only for 3 days so what happen in the next 4 days to come. Then as Dianne narrated the story she said there was a time her mother asked how much money are left? then Dianne just cried as she cried she even vomited. I was shocked so shocking to think that we were having a good time in there store eating having snacks having a wonderful dinner then in Talamban they even share 1 meal which is only good for 1 person but they managed to budget it. I understand why Dianne cried. I talk to her and told her I thought you don’t have any problem I mean you’re just smiling you play around not knowing your having this problem within you. I told her Dianne you can tell me anything if not me you can also talk to your sister Marie, express it out, let it out don’t keep it inside. I just can’t stand seeing a girl cried. My Baby even said yesterday she and her father got almost in a fight because her elder sister Mylene said to Marie she have found a way to have a 10t pesos that is to have a loan and the percent is 10% then her father called and Marie mentioned it to her father and her father shouted and said no it 7% not 10% and Marie said no it’s another person the her father replied no it’s 7% why are you forcing it’s 10% and so just to end the conversation so that it would not end up having a fight she just said give it to Mom. Then at that day her elder sister Mylene called up and mentioned about the 10% and explained. Then her father called and said I see it’s another person why did you not say it so. What? she did not said anything. I keep telling him about it but he insisted that it’s 7%.

I guess this family problem is there father. I think each one of them has a problem with there father. I guess I have to wait maybe they will settle things out.

What am I supposed to do?

Everyday is a new day, but I have done nothing to make me say a new day. Everyday for me, is like the other day, nothing new. My life have been aging and I have done nothing special to myself. Supposedly at my age I should have acquired something for myself. Until now theres nothing to brag about not just to people but to myself. I’m obese, easily get tired little work and I’m sweating as if I have been working for a day. I keep asking myself “what is the purpose of my existence, what am I gonna do? I am undergrad my Mom is sick and tired of putting me to school and I just wasted my oppurtunity to finish a degree. So now I’m self studying skills like video editing, photo editing thanks to the internet i manage to study it well. The problem is that when I try to apply for a job they always asked for affliation and experienced and I always fail. If only they would somehow recognized my skills and give me the oppurtunity I won’t fail them but I guess life in this world is not that easy.

My baby Marie just finished her caregiver course but the problem is that she has a pending balanced in her previous school and she needed a large amount of money so that she could get her T.O.R and somehow pay her O.J.T and her allowance everyday. Her elder sister just called her to say she couldn’t send money this month. I don’t know about her parents if they somehow find away to support her. I have been thinking myself what am I gonna do to help her. Even I myself is having a problem in my electricity, water, internet, monthly dues and not to mention the cellphone of my baby I pawned. I have been looking for job but I guess luck haven’t found me. But I’m not giving up. I just can’t tell to my baby that I’m suffering as she is.